Ageism and Lesbophobia: Overview for Panel
by Sharon Raphael, Ph.D., 65
OLOC is in an unusual position to
carry on the tradition of its founders
and early pioneers, women like
Barbara MacDonald, Baba Copper,
and Shevy Healey, who saw prejudice
toward Old people from the unique
position of being feminists and
Lesbians. Standing outside the traditional
heterosexist fold, these women
could see the importance of resisting stereotyped
ideas of what Old women — and in this
case what Old Lesbians — should be and do
with their lives despite the great obstacles involved
in living in an ageist and sexist society.
The purpose of this panel is to challenge
and encourage all of us to continue to fight
lesbophobic, ageist, and sexist thinking and
behavior that might get in the way of our leading
fulfilling and creative lives.
These are some of the traps we can fall
into that keep us from being the Old Lesbians
we would like to be, free to make our own
choices about our destinies and purpose in
life.
Invisibility. Old people in general are
not seen as sexual beings. The ideas of sexuality
and oldness do not sit well with younger
people because they assume oldness and
sexuality are mutually exclusive. Women with
gray hair and wrinkles tend to be viewed as
helpless grandmotherly figures.
Some Old Lesbians use this burden to
their advantage, avoiding a kind of visibility
that might make them, in certain situations,
vulnerable to lesbophobia. On the other hand,
consistently avoiding visibility as Lesbians can
work at cross purposes with the identity we
have about who we are and how it may affect
what we want to do with our lives in later life. Each Lesbian must choose for herself
how far up the visibility road she
wants to go.
Ageism in the LGBT
community. Although changes
have taken place, in part as a result
of the work OLOC has done, there is
a need for Old Lesbians to resist the
prejudices and fears among others
about aging, which at times affect our lives
in negative ways. In group settings we often
are not treated as equals. Barbara McDonald,
in Look Me in the Eye, drew our attention to
younger Lesbians putting us on pedestals
and using us as the mothers they would have
wanted, a practice that keeps both young and
Old from equal and healthy relationships.
Sexism in our society. This trap is hard
to overcome but not hard to fight against and
be aware of. Women have second-class status,
and Lesbians even less status; therefore, if we
add the category “Old,” that is a triple stigma.
Add a few other categories — race, class, or
disability — and we can see the stigmatization
becoming very weighty, indeed. One reason
we form groups like OLOC is to change the
way society uses these stereotypical ways of
classifying people.
Lesbophobia is an ism that affects us most
profoundly as we grow Old. Many Lesbians
avoid institutions that serve Older adults out
of fear of being discovered or being mistreated
or both. Not having the safeguards
of marriage equality affects the security of
those of us who have partners. Discrimination
against Lesbians in assisted care and nursing
facilities has been documented.
OLOC is a Lesbian organization that affirms
aging and helps us identify in a positive way with the term OLD. This is a powerful idea, a
very feminist idea, and one that is very unpopular
out there in the so-called “real world.”
OLOC needs to affirm the term Lesbian
in the same way as we affirm and take on the
word Old. Just as Lesbians gave the muchneeded
woman power to many aspects of the
feminist movement, it is Old Lesbians who are
intellectually in the vanguard of truly understanding
what ageism does to Old women and
who are acting as role models for what to do
to avoid the pitfalls of ageism. But the problem
is that Old women are not listening to us to
any large degree, in part because of their own
lesbophobia — which we must fight not only
for our own self-interest but also in order to be
heard.
OLD Lesbians Organizing for Change
has a unique opportunity to share what
we have learned, but we must educate and
change ourselves, integrating these ideas on
a personal level so we can reach out to the
wider world and make a big noise collectively
and as individuals.
To see the unedited version of this article
on Ageism and Lesbophobia go to Sharon’s
blog at www.leftturnonrights.blogspot.com/
